If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
