very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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