Plan B is the new Plan A
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
