:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
this will be a night to untag.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
