I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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