A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
no, he came in my armpit
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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