I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
