Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
