I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
found the other keg... it's in the tree
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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