Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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