Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
