I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
