You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
