the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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