can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
