were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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