You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
