i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
