Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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