What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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