Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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