Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
