Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
