i think i have two assholes
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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