I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
