today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
