woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
