You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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