I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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