Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
