I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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