she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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