remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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