I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My dick has a subreddit
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
