Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
