Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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