ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
