will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
