It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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