I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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