there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
