Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
They left me at home... I'm a liability
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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