So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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