Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
organizing the empties. That sober.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
