His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
