apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
