she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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