Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
