Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
