dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
